But if you dive deeper, you’ll see that Noor shares the good, the bad, and the ugly in her life—including her struggle to get pregnant and a miscarriage that she says “broke her.” Although the Internet is not always a positive place, Noor turned to her followers for support and love, and they helped her through one of the toughest times of her life. Noor says she feels lucky to have created a community over the years who share her values and want to see more diversity in the world around them. “I started making content a few years ago,” Noor tells us. “Something that started off as a hobby and a passion transformed into a full-time career.” Noor says she is now able to create things she wishes she would have seen growing up, including her new book “Beautifully Me.” “The main character is a Bangladeshi girl,” Noor says. “Seeing a family that looks like mine represented in this book and to see our language celebrated in this book was so special.” In addition to the book, she has a self-love clothing brand, Zeba, where the sizing is quite unique. Instead of numbers, sizes are labeled with inspiring words like “passionate,” “brave,” “fearless,” and “worthy.” The clothing ranges from traditional sizes XS to 5X. The entrepreneur also started a home brand, Sara and Begum, which sells goods like candles and cutting boards. Along with her business ventures, she runs a non-profit scholarship program, Noor House, with her husband. Her husband Seth Martin, whom she met in college during her senior year. “We fell in love and it was a beautiful journey towards acceptance from my parents [because he is a different race and religion],” she shares. “Now my parents love him—I think more than me—but it’s just been so special to also work with my husband in bringing my projects and dreams to life. We run our company together…He is my biggest champion and advocate and has been since day one.” The couple married in 2015 and settled down in Pennsylvania. They started trying for a baby soon after getting married. After six years of trying to conceive, they became pregnant in June 2021. It was the first time she had ever gotten pregnant. However, they had a miscarriage at just six weeks pregnant. She revealed her loss to the world on her YouTube channel just days later, still raw with emotion. Then, a glimmer of hope came after their loss. In late July 2021, Noor and Martin found out they were pregnant again with their rainbow baby. Now in her second trimester, Noor gives us a glimpse into her conception journey, how her online community has supported her in her darkest days, and her advice for other couples hoping to start a family in the future.
Verywell Family: You’ve been married for six years and have faced a number of challenges trying to conceive. Can you talk about your fertility journey up to this point?
Nabela Noor: My fertility journey goes back over six years. It was a difficult journey, especially to navigate in the public eye online. I don’t know if I would have been able to really get through it if I didn’t have this wave of support from people online who were experiencing the same thing or knew someone who did. They were able to provide comfort, solace, kindness, and generosity. It was a big struggle because I felt like less of a woman. I felt like I was inadequate. I felt like I was flawed, and it was something that I unpacked with millions of people watching. But I wouldn’t change that for the world. I realized that I wasn’t alone in that feeling and that, indeed, I was not flawed or damaged. Nor was I less of a woman. I just had a different journey. No journey is perfect or the same. It’s been so beautiful looking back. Now that I am pregnant—just to see how timing is everything. I could not have gotten through it without the people who follow me and support me really cheering me on.
VWF: Some people think social media is a negative place but you have built a positive and supportive community. Can you talk about what that support is like?
NN: People forget the importance of community, right? We’re humans, and humans need each other. Social media, initially, was created for us to be connected and when you focus on the connection, it is just so invaluable. It can be life-changing. For me, it was. I would have been far more lost in the journey if I didn’t have countless people sharing their testimonies with me. It’s like a big support group. It’s a big forum of people who can share their experiences and can provide you comfort and peace along the way—if you choose to use it that way, right? The Internet is what you make of it.
VWF: You’ve been so open and honest about your miscarriage. How were you feeling in that moment and how did you get through it with your husband and the community that you have built around you?
NN: After my miscarriage, I was completely broken. I didn’t really have any hope or faith or understanding of my next steps. After I got back from the hospital and it was all settled in my mind, I [sought out] to find support in my community. I shared everything up to that point. I had shared the good days, the bad days. The journey with millions of people, and it almost felt like I needed them to see even the darkest moments. This journey has never been a highlight reel to me. Pockets of Peace is my content series that focuses on the goodness of each day. That is a very open and honest celebration of all things good. But in terms of my fertility journey, it was really the good, the bad, the ugly. I knew how I was hurting when I had the miscarriage, and I knew that somebody else may have been hurting in the same way. I wanted to be honest about this feeling. I filmed that video pretty shortly after my miscarriage, and it was also because I didn’t want to have to revisit that story again. I thought, let me just vocalize all this, and then I will close it. And I have to look forward. So I did that. It ended up being so cathartic [to film]. It was so therapeutic and comforting. Someone on the receiving end could pray for me or provide words of encouragement. I posted the video and people were so loving. I really was able to cling to that support when I needed it most. It was just such a dark time. A few weeks after my miscarriage, I found out that I was pregnant with my rainbow baby. Words can’t even describe what a miracle that journey and experience was. I was in the depths of my despair as the biggest blessing was coming into my life.
VWF: Your videos “Pockets of Peace” are so inspiring because you show that you can find the good in every day, even if you are having a hard time. Are you try to portray that there are small things that can make your day better or feel “normal” even during a trying time?
NN: Pockets of Peace actually first came out when we had just gotten into the pandemic. The lockdown had just started, and it was really a way for me to cope with my anxiety. I was so anxious in that time of the unknown. I started documenting my day-to-day life, focusing on the good, because it helps me with my anxiety. It started from a place of me, just genuinely being able to heal and grow and hope, by finding the good in each moment and each day. There are those things every single day. I tell people all the time, whether it’s making a coffee, whether it’s those few minutes where you’re in your car after you’ve arrived at your dedication and you just listen to the song playing, those are the moments that matter. There are pockets of peace in each day that we just have to search for. I have been so lucky to have been able to create this really cool community that focuses on finding the good and highlighting that moment each day. They tell me their stories. They say, today my pocket of peace was watching a show after putting the kids to sleep. I’m like, yes! It’s really romanticizing and glamorizing our everyday lives because that is what makes each day that much more special.
VWF: You’re promoting a book. You post on social media every day. You have a clothing line, a home line. How are you feeling, and are you taking time for yourself?
NN: Well, I’m in my second trimester now. In my first trimester, there was a lot of exhaustion. All of the business elements of my life and the craziness of my day-to-day was paired with the reality that I needed to rest. That’s been a very interesting journey to navigate because I have a busy schedule. I’m also in a body right now that’s like, “Hey, you want a nap, don’t you?” It’s [about] giving myself grace throughout this process. Adapting has been so important. At the end of the day, I’m a mother-to-be, an entrepreneur, an author, and a designer. I’m doing all of these things. And I had to learn throughout this pregnancy [that] you can be all of these things, but there has to be balance. Maybe your days are slower, maybe you’re starting the day later, or maybe you’re giving yourself more time than you normally would to do a task. My home brand launched ,and my book came out during my pregnancy. I’m giving myself some space and grace. I understand that my body’s different right now, and it’s okay. As long as I get it done, it’s okay.
VWF: You wrote your book and dedicated it to your future baby before you even knew you were pregnant. Can you describe this feeling of finally becoming a mother and what that means to you?
NN: I wanted to be a mother the moment I fell in love with my husband. When I fell in love with my husband, I was like, I need, I want to create someone with his heart. It was like, okay, I cannot wait to have more of him around. That’s why it is emotional for me. When writing the book, I was in the thick of my infertility journey. I was in the depths of it. This book has taken over 550 plus days to bring to life, and I was striving for a baby that entire time. I had no idea when I would get pregnant, or if I would get pregnant. That was the headline—I had no idea if I would get pregnant. When I was writing the book, I truly wrote every single word in my heart to my future daughter, not knowing that I would end up one day being pregnant with my daughter as the book comes out. It’s an example of how miraculous the entire experience has been. At the end of the book, there was an acknowledgment section. [I thanked] everybody in my life: my team, my family, my friends. And I just felt a tug in my heart to write a little message to my future baby, because without thinking of her for every single word, the book would not have even been possible. And so I wrote a little message saying, “to my future baby, wherever you are. I love you and I thought of you through writing every single word.” When the book came out, and I was pregnant, it was the most surreal experience. When I opened the book and read those words, especially the part where I say, “wherever you are,” it was special. The baby is inside of me. She’s growing, and she’s going to be here soon. She’ll eventually read the book. It was truly my internal prayer for her. It’s also special because when writing this book every single day, it felt like a little brick in building my future child. It’s been really beautiful.
VWF: What advice do you have for other couples that are trying to conceive and experiencing infertility?
NN: This pregnancy—this blessing, this miracle—came during such a dark time for me. My advice is to never forget the possibility of miracles. Find support in the people around you, and confide in people around you. For me, therapy was so helpful throughout this journey, as well.
VWF: What are some hopes, wishes, and dreams you have for your daughter?
NN: My biggest hope and dream for her is [actually] in the book, believe it or not. In the book, the character is pursuing this definition of beauty. It’s Zubi’s first day of school. She’s trying to figure out what beautiful means. She’s seeing people who she loves the most being unkind to themselves. That impacts how she perceives herself. And at the end, there’s this beautiful conversation that she has with her family, and it reminds her of her own unique beauty. My prayer and dream for my daughter is that she discovers what makes her beautiful and that she feels free and comfortable and confident in her body. That she feels empowered in everything that she does and knows that she is supported and loved. I just want her to feel free to be herself. That would be the most liberating thing. As a child, we typically feel this way, but as we grow up, that changes. I just want her to grow up with that freedom remaining inside of her. To be who she is and be confident and love herself, no matter what.
VWF: What have you learned about yourself during this pregnancy?
NN: I have learned so much. It’s kind of cheesy, but I really believe it. I definitely think that when I found out about this rainbow pregnancy, a part of me, if not all of me, was reborn in that moment. I was completely changed by the miraculousness and the blessing of it. Again, it came at a time [after my miscarriage] when I had no hope, I had no faith. I was completely broken. Yet I was still blessed in such a beautiful way. I don’t operate with the same mentality. It changed me and it made me better—maybe a little bit more intentional. Everything now revolves around what world is she going to come into, what home she is going to walk into. Am I equipped with the tools that I need to make sure that she is nurtured? And so that’s kind of been my every day. She’s definitely transformed me inside out and out.
